I actually dislike the word “bridezilla.” It is somehow demeaning and dismisses the fact that the engagement period and wedding planning can be truly stressful. I hardly ever use the word. I think back to all the weddings I have done, and I can only find one bride who fits this stereotype (and her wedding was seven years ago). The rest of the brides may be emotional, but they are happy and excited and are respectful of all those who are working to make their wedding day wonderful.
A friend of mine just sent me an email, as she is always on the lookout for new words. This is what she just found:
Word Spy: The Word Lover’s Guide to New Words
n. A bride-to-be who, while planning her wedding, remains calm, relaxed, and easy-going.
But the level-headed model has kept her cool in the run-up to her big day and is not a stressed-out Bridezilla. “I’m not a Bridezilla anyway,” she said. “My sister keeps calling me a Bridechilla because I’m so chilled about everything. It’s all really very relaxed.”
—Melanie Finn, “Sarah leaves model friends behind for ‘amazing’ hen party,” The Evening Herald (Dublin, Ireland), April 30, 2014
Anita is a bridechilla, the type of bride who wants her and her fiancé’s day to be special but not at the expense of going crazy, broke or sending friends and family running for cover.
—Alana Schetzer, “Bridechilla: The anti-bridezilla of weddings,” Mamamia, August 10, 2013
Somebody just told me I was such a BrideCHILLa. Here’s to staying calm and present in the 7 day countdown to bridal bliss.
—Jillian Bisinger, “Somebody just told me…,” Twitter, June 5, 2008
So, I know it’s hard to separate a bride from her shower, but if people could remember that she didn’t ask for the pre-addressed envelopes (or the gifts wrapped in clear paper, or the cash for a money tree, or only silver gifts — yes I’ve seen it all : ), I know it would take a little worry off of this (and many other) bride-chilla’s shoulders!
—“Bride-chillas,” Boston Globe, April 3, 2008
The April 3, 2008 citation from the Boston Globe is the earliest print usage I could find for bridechilla, but the domain name bridechilla.com (which currently has no content) was registered on June 7, 2007.
And just to provide further proof that you can’t please all the people all the time, note that I also found a number of citations that complained about the bridechilla. Here’s a typical example:
She doesn’t care what color you wear, “just do you.” She can’t decide which flowers she wants. “I don’t know, just pick one.” Basically nothing bothers her, which is good and bad. While a bridechilla may seem awesome, she can actually be very stressful for everyone involved.
—L’Oreal Thompson, “Which is worse: Bridezilla or bridechilla?,” Jet, July 4, 2014
Just for the record, I never find “bridechillas” to be stressful. And I don’t love that word either, because it is so value-laden.
Let’s just call them “brides” or “grooms” or “partners” or “people who are engaged and getting married.”